Halloween was my favorite holiday, but in these last few years
Something so terrible has filled me with fear
It's not the razor in the apple; no, I heard that never happened
No, it's something much worse
It's women whose Halloween costume is just that they're slutty
Well, that's not a costume at all
What happened to witches and monsters?
They left the Halloween Ball
Just putting kitten ears on your head is not creative
And a skimpy black dress is not very scaryâ€"unless you're Ann Coulter
Stiletto heels are not that special unless worn by a man
I'm not a prude, but I'm not a fan
Of women whose Halloween costume is just that they're slutty
Well, that's not a costume at all
What happened to witches and monsters?
They left the Halloween Ball
Okay, so maybe if you play a dead prostitute from, say, Jack the Ripper days
Or, or maybe a zombie whore from outer space
But that naughty devil outfit in lingerie?
Well, that's... just not good