Yeah, I met this bloke today
He looked at me in a very strange way
I did nothing, I smiled politely
He st-st-stuttered over words he was trying to say
And he gave me the evil eye
Revealed the fangs behind his smile
Oh my, a yellow grin never shone so wicked
I wondered what is his problem?
Is it my stupid hat or my annoying accent?
I know that some people feel that way
But this guy did not even give me chance
I thought nothing of it
But then the same thing happened to me the very next weekend
What could it be?
Yeah, I thought it was going well
But all these guys have got their eyes on my girl
Thought it was going swelli
The awkwardness of talking to these pricks is hell
I suppose you can never tell
To discover all the dark secrets, well, oh well
I've got news for you, my son
I ain't going anywhere
I ain't going anywhere
I met this prick today
He laughed at me silently
It seems there's quite a lot of these bitter people
Thick as treacle, why don't you get it into your thick skull
The hole in your heart will have to be filled elsewhere
Is it even still worth filling?
I know that you think that you've had it hard
We've all got problems, fickle problems to deal with
There any problems, problems always have solutions, easy
Easy come, easy go
Same old songs at a different show is all I know
Or so you think
Yeah, I thought it was going well
But all these guys have got their eyes on my girl
Thought it was going swelli
The awkwardness of talking to these pricks is hell
I suppose you can never tell
To discover all the dark secrets, well, oh well
I've got news for you, my son
I ain't going anywhere
I ain't going anywhere
I ain't going anywhere
I ain't going anywhere
Bitter boys, the feeling will dry
Waiting for nothing on their own
Building up meaningless resentment for something they can't understand
My sympathy for your apathy
Crybaby, maybe you will learn
Whiskey won't save you now
Chasing fairytale, bless your tortured soul
Bless your tortured soul with muddy puddle water
Thought it was going well
But all these guys have got their eyes on my girl
Thought it was going swell
But the awkwardness of talking to these pricks is hell
I suppose you can never tell
To discover all the dark secrets, well, oh well
I've got news for you, my son
I ain't going anywhere
I ain't going anywhere
I ain't going anywhere
I ain't going anywhere
I'm sorry, lads
Sorry, lads
I ain't going anywhere