I met my wife in Alabama
and she's so very nice to me
She's intelligent and pretty with a good sense of humour
Her teenage years were awful 'cause she is a late bloomer
She's got a job at the local library
'cause it's terribly important
that one of us has got a steady income
I'm a bastard (Straight from the word Go)
Completely comatose (Deeply comatose)
I'm so listless (Straight from the word Go)
My life will decompose (Life will decompose)
Sometimes we go out in the evening
Exotic food goes down a treat
We have to hurry up to miss the play would be a shame
We don't like Allan Ayckborne but that French guy what's his name
And in the morning I always got a headache
So it's terribly important
that one of us has got a steady income
I'm a bastard (Straight from the word Go)
Completely comatose (Deeply comatose)
I'm so listless (Straight from the word Go)
My life will decompose (Life will decompose)
The other night I went to a party
I met this girl she was alright
We had a lot to drink, we danced and later on we kissed
and in a flash I saw the opportunities I've missed
You see I'm faithful to my wife
'cause it's terribly important
that one of us has got a steady income
I'm a bastard (Straight from the word Go)
Completely comatose (Deeply comatose)
I'm so listless (Straight from the word Go)
My life will decompose (Life will decompose)