The Back Upon Which Jezza Jumped

The back upon which Jezza jumped and rode into the ground;

The humiliated vertebrae that mighty mark crushed down;

That pathetic platform from which Jesualenko leapt into the sky;

That ladder to immortality has finally laid down to die.

Yes, Graeme "Jerker" Jenkin, the man who stood his ground

And took the pain that gave other's fame is six foot underground;

Giant jolly "Jerker" Jenkin, Jesaulenko's dupe -

All he got out of that magic mark was a tenancy to stoop.

Did he hear the thundering footsteps on that fateful day?

As he looked up at that Sherrin, did he know he'd have no say

As Jezza jumped to fame and glory with one almighty leap,

And he was left to be forgotten in a crumpled heap?

And so all you men of small ability and mediocre skill,

All those of you who, in the race of life, are left standing still;

Those who must always know others are unquestionably better -

The second class, the also ran, the unsuccessful go getter;

The minor leaguers, the average markers, the consistent second raters;

The stay at homers, the timid loners, the habitual masturbators;

The ugly girls, the amputees, the screaming Mongoloids;

The senile old, the deformed young, the bladders that unwillingly void;

The cancer ridden, the A.I.D.S. victim, the plastic surgery disaster;

The fake bowel, the anguished howl as the psychopath shafts ya;

The violated; the child rapist; the jerk off artist;

The disaster fated, the intensely hated, the involuntary fartist;

All of you huge race of men with mind or body dismembered

Never forget the name of the man who will never be remembered;

And beware!, all who have hopes of happiness you pathetically nurture,

Lest you forget the back upon which Jezza jumped, the giant Graeme "Jerker"