"Amanda arranges a breakfast summit with Liz Phair, Bjork, Tori Amos, Courtney love, Pink and Avril to hear their individual reflections on signing with a major label"
Liz had practice
Bjork flew from Paris
Ani said she's try to make it
Courtney flirted with the waitress
pink brought her accountant
who hid out in the bathroom
tori ordered eggs and bacon
Avril said she wasn't eating
I said"so the purpose of this meeting,
and thank you all for coming,
i understand we're extremely bizzy,
people to make,
people to see
Just to get you in one place,
all at one time,
I briefed you on our situation,
so lets hear your thoughts,
who'd like to speak
i expect your total honesty
...liz pher?"
and Liz says "take the money and run"
bjork says "just make sure you have fun"
Avril says"this isn't any fun, i cant relate to anyone"
and Courtney says " yeah that's right try taking heroin"
and pink says "leave the kid alone"
and i say "girls girls settle down,
lets conduct ourselves like ladies, shall we.
Lets start again"
Then i turn to Ani,
I said Ani don't hate me,
we found a major label
we think there pretty stable.
Ani says "don't quote me,
there all wolfs in sheep's clothing,
wait till your a little older,
don't come crying on my fucking shoulder"
I said think of tori,
my records strong and pretty happy
right tori?
but tori just ignored me
so i turn Bjork
but Courtney cut me off
she said "kid I've been around the block, they'll rape you and its torture"
Liz says"take the money and run"
Bjork says "once your rich its no fun"
Avril says "your can say that again. find what it is to go back home"
and Courtney says "Yeah try taking methadone"
and pink said "leave the kid alone"
and i say "girls girls, lets settle down, lets conduct ourselves like ladies, shall we? lets start again"
can we please stick to the subject
here we all all grown ups, mostly
can i get and answer
some kinda of consensus
Avril looks at Courtney
Courtney looks at Tori
tori looks at Ani
Ani shrugs her shoulders
and have you, bjork turns to pink
who is ordering a drink
and I'm starting to think
this meeting was a big mistake
i said "Ok, i know, i know,
you all have planes you all have to go to,
but please, i'm asking one more time,
what do you think we should sign?"
Ani turns red
Bjork shakes her head
Tori says "yes"
Pink drops her glass
Avril says "sign it"
coutney says "fuck it"
tori says"shut up"
Courtney says" make me"
I say "ladies, ladies, ladies,
what is this sixth-fucking-grade,
can we all just get along and agree,
cant i get an answer before you all leave?
Liz says "take the money and run"
Bjork says "take the money and run"
tori says "take the money and run"
Courtney says "take the money and run"
Avril says "take the money and run"
Fame says "take the money and run"
pink says "take the money and run"
ani says take "take the money and run,
fuck all you anyway,
Amanda you write brilliant songs"