The Canadian Crisis Song
Often on the weekend I'll jump in my car
I'll not fill up the tank although I'm going far
And if somebody asks me if I'm going to a bar
I'll say I'm shopping 'cross the border in the USA
I do not go down there to buy my groceries
I respect our farmers and our factories
I don't believe that local means it's poor in quality
It's just our goddamned prices are too high
(If he stays away for just two days)
I get one hundred dollars duty-free
(Though it adds two more, will I claim it or)
I don't declare the products if they're in my trunk
(He won't declare the products if they're in his trunk)
Although it is Canada that I call home
I don't cheer for the Yankees when I'm in the dome
I didn't swell with pride during the desert storm
It's just that I don't want to pay the tax
(It's just that he's too cheap to pay the tax)
(Yes it's just like this, he's a loyalist)
I'll only shop at malls that fly our flag
(And he'll tell Bob Ray that he just won't pay)
Unless I need my unemployment benefits
(Get a job! Get a job! Get a job!)
Now everybody's doing the same thing as me
They're doing what they can to beat the GST
They're lining up for miles at the duty-free
So I bought a J.C. Penney store in Buffalo
(So everybody come on down to Buffalo)
('Cause if you stay away for just two days)
You'll get one hundred dollars duty free
(Though it's not at par, it will still go far)
And it ends up in the pockets of our countryman
(It ends up in the pockets of our countryman)