I've held the seat of Bong-Bong now
Since 1963
With a well-oiled tongue, a makeup man
And prime time ABC
I used to be an auctioneer
There's not much difference
A haze of finance doctoring
And verbal flatulence
Electioneering's such a bore
Three months of bending ears
Thank Christ I only see you yobbos
Once every three years
Chorus
It's a federal two-ring circus
It's called democracy
Two hundred clowns, a dour MC
And the queen's well-heeled G-G
I'm women's advisor
To the cabinet portfolios
And every week I keep well-briefed
At tea with Ms Buttrose
Unemployment's falling
We look to better days
Because women in the workforce
Are just a passing phase
Let's get back to basics
Experience has shown
The heart is by the hearth
A woman's place is in the home
Chorus
I'm a vestige of nobility
Cognac and caviar
Soires at the racetrack
And oration jocular
I had a dream that
Constitutional crisis
Loomed again
The CIA and history
Hailed the rigors of my pen
But I'd had one too many gins
How they groaned behind my back
I signed the papers upside down
And gave myself the sack
Chorus