The High Sheriff Of Calhoun Parish
THE HIGH SHERIFF OF CALHOUN PARISH
IT WAS SAID OF THE SHERIFF TO CALHOUN PARISH
NOT TO EVER TOUCH HIS DAUGHTER EMILY,
FOR TO LOOK AT HER WITH LUSTFUL EYES WAS CERTAIN
TO GET YOU A TIME IN THE PENITENTIARY.
IT WAS TRUE, SHE WAS QUITE VELOPTUOUS
IT WAS TRUE, SHE HAD EYES FOR ME;
THEN ONE NIGHT AT A DANCE SHE WALKED UP TO ME
AND ASK ME WOULD I, MEET HER DOWN BY THE CREEK
AS I LISTENED TO HER DANGEROUS PROPOSAL
I THOUGHT ABOUT THE HIGH SHERIFF CATCHING ME;
AS I SHOOK MY HEAD QUIETLY AND LEFT THE PARTY,
I HEARD HER LAUGH AND SAY "YOU'LL BE SORRY"
THEN CAME UPON MY DOOR A LOUD DISTURBANCE,
I OPENED IT TO THE SHERIFF AND HIS DEPUTY.
HE SAID, "SON, DID YOU MOLEST MY DAUGHTER?"
I SAID, "SHERIFF, I DO NOT KNOW OF WHAT YOU SPEAK."
THEN HE GRABBED ME ROUGHLY BY THE COLLAR
AND HE FLUNG ME SPRAWLING OUT INTO THE STREET;
THERE WERE DAYS IN THE JAIL WITH CLAUSTROPHOBIA
AND ALL ON ACCOUNT OF THAT WENCH EMILY
WHEN I FINALLY WORKED A BAR LOOSE FROM MY WINDOW
AND I MADE MY WAY INTO THE WOODS OF CALHOUN,
LATE AT NIGHT I CAME UPON THE CABIN;
IT WAS THE HOME OF HARHAM CROSS, A FRIEND I KNEW.
WOULD YOU MIND IF I SAT DOWN AT YOUR TABLE
'CAUSE IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE HAD TIME TO EAT
AND I'LL PAY Y'ALL BACK WHEN I'M ABLE,
BUT RIGHT NOW THE HIGH SHERIFF IS AFTER ME.
Tony Joe White The High Sheriff Of Calhoun Parish