The Night I Saved Peter Ustinov
I was walking barefoot on St. Paul's bridge
When I saw a man talking to God
He was round and handsome
Anachronistically
A little odd
I overheard his conversation
He said, "I can't live in a world devoid of love."
And the voice, the voice was so familiar
It was the voice of Peter Ustinov
"Peter," I whispered from the shadows
"We've all been damaged by the 20th century
A man like you can talk to God
But can you spare a word for me?
For I have loved you since the time
I saw you in 'The Mouse that Roared'. "
"That was Peter Sellers, my dear.
Go away, " he implored
Chorus:
"See, I used to be Ustinov
But used to's no good enough for me
See, I used to be Ustinov
But used to's not good enough for me. "
The I blurted out "Quo Vadis"
"Topkapi," ooh yeah "Evil Under The Sun."
He waved his hand, "It's too late for that.
As you said, the damage has been done. "
Then he lifted his body up
To throw himself to a watery grave
"Peter," I yelled
"What about 'Billy Budd'
The innocent no one could save? "
(Repeat chorus)
"So tell me what you're dying for
Have you been so disrespected? "
He winked at me and said, "'Billy Budd. '
I wrote, starred, and directed. "
Then he bowed and kissed my hand
And said, "What was I thinking of?"
And walked away into the night
The night I saved Peter Ustinov
"You used to be Ustinov
But used to's still good enough for me
You used to be Ustinov
But used to's still good enough for me. "