When first I came to London in the year of '39,
The city looked so wonderful and the girls were so divine,
But the coppers got suspicious and they soon gave me the knock.
I was charged with being the owner of an old alarm clock.
Oh next morning down by Marlborough Street I caused no little stir.
The IRA were busy and the telephones did bar.
Said the judge "I'm going to charge you with the possession of this machine,
And I'm also going to charge you with the wearing of the green."
Now says I to him, "Your Honour, if you'll give me half a chance
I'll show you how me small machine can make the peelers dance.
It ticks away politely till you get an awful shock,
And it ticks away the gelignite in me old alarm clock."
Said the judge, "Now listen here, my man, and I'll tell you of our plan.
For you and I are countrymen I do not give a damn,
The only time you'll take is mine - ten years in Dartmoor dock,
And you can count it by the ticking of your old alarm clock."
Now this lonely Dartmoor city would put many in the jigs.
The cell it isn't pretty and it isn't very big.
Sure I'd long ago have left the place if I had only got
Me couple of sticks of gelignite and me own alarm clock.