The Parable Of Glenn McGrath's Haircut
My mate Roger got a girl pregnant when he was fourteen. He was so shit
scared he told me, and when he said
that her dad was a cop I thought he was joking. I told him he's got to
tell someone, and so he went and told a teacher, and the girl eventually
got an abortion. He was fucking shitting himself, let me tell you, but
six months later he was fucking around like always.
Ooh, aahh, Glenn McGrath
"You betta watch it" I thought to myself. But Roger was pretty fucking
sure of himself. He was the guy who first brought a block of hash to a
party. Because I was his friend I was there when he first showed it to
people, and we all went down the backyard and he rolled a joint. Where
did he get it from? My parents would have killed me if they knew. I
thought we'd all turn into junkies or something if we had too much.
The last time I saw Roger was last year at the Boxing Day test. He'd
turned into such a fat, normal, yobbo cunt. "The wife nearly didn't let
me out today" he said, and he did all that chanting yobs do, like "Ooh,
Aahh, Glenn McGrath". "It got you in the end" I thought to myself, as I
looked at Roger. "Life got you in the end, pal. You were such a cocky,
successful winner when we were 16, but now you're just another sad fat
prick sitting in the M.C.G high-fiving in self-congratulation, as if its
you that had the skill and determination to play for Australia". Its
the cunts with the bad haircuts that you've got to watch out for.
There's never been a popular teenager yet who's done rat's with their
life. Its the fucking dorks that give it a real go. Glenn McGrath got
5 for 50 that day.