The Poignant, Yet Pointless, Crisis Of A Coed

I'm not a leader,

I'm not a left-wing rhetoric mobilizing force of one

But there was a time way back,

Many years ago in college

Don't laugh

But I thought I was a radical,

I ran a Hemp Liberation League with my boyfriend

It was true love, with a common cause

And besides that, he was a Sagittarius

We used to say that our love was like hemp rope,

Three times as strong as the rope that you buy domestically

And we would bond in the face of oppression

From big business and the deans

But I knew there was a problem--

Every time the group would meet, everyone would light up

It made it difficult to discuss glaucoma

And human rights, not to mention chemotherapy

Well sometimes, life gives us lessons

Sent in ridiculous packaging

So I found him in the arms of a

Student Against the Treacherous Use of Fur

And he gave no apology,

He just turned to me, stoned out to the edge of oblivion

He didn't pull up the sheets, and I think he even smiled

As he said to me:

"Well, I guess our dreams went up in smoke"

"Uh-huh-huh-huh"

And I said,

"No, our dreams went up in dreams, you stupid pothead!"

And another thing,

What kind of a name is Students Against the Treacherous Use of Fur?

Fur is already dead

And besides, a name like that doesn't make a good acronym!

Well I am older now,

I know the rise and gradual fall of a daily victory

And I still write to my senator saying they should legalize cannabis,

And I should know

'Cause I am a horticulturist,

I have a husband and three children out in Lexington, Mass.

And my ex-boyfriend can't tell me I've sold out

Because he's in a cult

And he's not allowed to talk to me.