There once was a boy who left this town
He tried to be something great
It turns out now he's all alone
And all he does is maturbate
His name is Mike Bike (x4)
There once was a boy named Dom
He tried to diffuse a bomb
The bomb blew up in his face
And now his brains are up in space
His name is Dom Renz (x4)
There once was a boy named Roland
He wanted to be like Wilt Chamberlain
He went for a rebound, but came down hard
And now he's left emotionally scarred
His name is Roland (x4)
There once was a boy whose name is Mike
He had a crush on a dyke
When he went to talk to her
He found out that she was a sir
His name is Mike Libor (x4)
And that is the story of the Studs