There was a man who when he won stuff
on the stalls in village fairs
would always choose the tortoise
ot the goldfish, not the teddy bears
He'd always answer when they asked him
what he wanted as a prize
'I'll have another of them little crunchy pies, crunchy pies'
Oh, crunchy pies, oh crunchy pies
and there was hunger in his eyes
'I'll have another of them little crunchy pies, crunchy pies'
I know God created Tortoises
but is God always wise?
He never gives us clear distinctions
as with tortoises and pies
He could have spared such moral horrors
to the likes of me and you
and doubtless to the little crunchy tortoise too
And here is the chorus where the children join in:
Tortoise too, oh tortoise too
Oh jesus, tell us what to do
And for Christ's sake tell the little crunchy tortoise too