They Don't Let You In The Opera (If You're A Country Star)
Now, I was born down in Georgia
But Georgia wasn't good enough for me
I'd sing country songs for them, but
My heart sang La Bohème and it
Didn't help we moved to Tennessee
Nashville's not the place you sing
High C
If you wanna sing at all, you
Best sing country, so I picked up
How to do it pretty fast
Be a country star or go in THE
Sticks them hicks don't know
Verdi's Rigoletto from their ---
So a country star's how I came to pass
But I'll sing opera one day
"It's like opry with an a," I told
My agent in his fancy car
And it pained him I could tell
When he said, "No chance in ----,
They don't let you in the opera
If you're a country star."
"Is it the way I say oblighetto?"
So I took that country singing
Job and shoved it and I headed to
The Met at NYC. I know that stage
Is hard to reach but Domingo likes a peach.
You should hear that tenor voice sing
Rockabilly. Now I'm trying out for
The Barber of Sevilly when a voice
Booms from THE house, "From those
Tassels on your blouse, I can tell
You've got a twang and play guitar.
I bet they loved you in the south,
But please, don't open your mouth. We
can't let you in the opera if you're a
country star, cause no patron trusts
an opera in the hands of a country
star."
Do you think I can't wail just cause
I got long pink fingernails? I had to play
More country songs just to stay
Afloat. Though AIDA'S MY ROLE I'm in
A southern pigeon hole. I sing like
Mary Callas, but no one's heard a note!
Till I charmed an old blowhard who
Owns half of Julliard, said my singing
Was so beautiful he cried. And I felt my
Heartbeat hop then I heard his heartbeat
Stop, he said, "Welcome to the Opera."
And then the ------- died.
Well, time went by, I gave up on the opera.
Grabbed a man, got ready for a kid. Though
La Scala never called, my ears still get
Enthralled when I hear a great soprano
Blow her lid, so head up to the opera house
I did. But as bravados start to shake, I feel
My water break"¦I'd never even make it
Down the aisle. If you'd have been there
You'd have seen in that second mezzanine,