True Story

This mornin' I jumped on my horse and went out for a ride

Some wild outlaws chased me and they shot me in the side

So I crawled into a wild cat's cave to find a place to hide

But some pirates found me a sleepin' there and soon they had me tied

Till a lady zombie cut me loose and begged to be my bride

So I said I'd come back Wednesday but I must admit I lied

Cause I run away into the swamp but I forgot my guide

And I stepped into some quicksand and no matter how I tried

I couldn't get out until I met a crocodile named Clyde

Who took me to some cannibals who planned to have me fried

They built a fire under me and I swear I almost cried

Till an eagle come and swooped me up and through the air we flied

But he dropped me in a boilin' lake a thousand miles wide

And you know what happened then I died