Driving to the gig tonight
I hoped and prayed with all my might
That dreams of Woodstock
Would come true
A crowd that stretched beyond my view
But I dream too much
And practise far too rarely
And walking in I feel as though
The cards were dealt unfairly
'Cos two and a dog, two and a dog
Two and a dog is all I see
How could they do this to me
All those friends who faithfully
Promised me that they would be
Here to hear me play
But two and a dog, two and a dog
Two and a dog is all I've got
I must admit it's not a lot
Superstar is what I'm not
My property just isn't hot
This dog has had his day
Now playing at the gig tonight
I shut my eyes to hide the sight
The empty chairs look on in pain
They try to cheer, but all in vain
And in between the songs
I can hear the barman breathing
While the only other sound I hear
Is the sound of people leaving
My voice was sore
And the crowd was poor
And the posters had the venue wrong
Excuses fly as I wonder why
Thousands didn't come along
Now driving from the gig tonight
I grip the steering wheel tight
The psychedelic voices say
That I should give the game away
But I'll be back again
Climbing 'til I reach my peak
And for seven days I'll hope and pray
And three and a cow
Might come next week
Yeah, two and a dog, two and a dog
Two and a dog can be so cruel
But I won't give up like a fool
I'll give my all and keep my cool
'Cos I'm as stubborn as a mule
I'll take the stage again
'Cos two and a dog, two and a dog
Two and a dog, my faithful few
And I'll be here to play for you
Until my record deal comes through
By then I might be eighty-two
But two and a dog will do 'til then