We're The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything

Arr, arr, arr, arr

We are the pirates who don't do anything

We just stay at home and lay around

And if you ask us to do anything

Well just tell you we don't do anything

But I've never been to Cleveland

And I've never been to Denver

And I've never buried treasure in St. Louie or St. Paul

And I've never been to Moscow

And I've never been to Tampa

And I've never been to Boston in the fall

We are the pirates who don't do anything

We just stay at home and lay around

And if you ask us to do anything

Well just tell you we don't do anything

And I've never hoist the main sail

And I've never swabbed the poop deck

And I've never veer to starboard

Cause I never sail at all

And I've never walked the gangplank

And I've never owned a parrot

And I've never been to Boston in the fall

Cause were the pirates who don't do anything

We just stay at home and lay around

And if you ask us to do anything

Well just tell you we don't do anything

Well I've never plucked a rooster

And I'm not too good at ping pong

And I've never thrown my mashed potatoes

Up against the wall

And I've never kissed a chipmunk

And I've never gotten head lice

And I've never been to Boston in the fall

And I've never licked a spark plug

And I've never sniffed a stinkbug

And I've never painted daises

On a big red rubber ball

And I've never bathed in yogurt

And I don't look good in leggings

And We've never been to Boston in the fall!