When I Was Five
Clare Bowditch and the Feeding Set
If life were like a mountain, did you, did you not fall?
I have missed you since I was five.
And I don't recall your eyes
But your hands I do recall,
And I know how you smelt when you were alive.
You died.
Like we're all gonna go someday.
You died.
I was five and I wish you'd stayed.
They say you crossed a river to touch God's hand
But I did not understand where he lived.
So I tried to write him letters - letters of demand,
Saying "She's my sister - back you give her"
You died.
Like we're all gonna go someday.
You died.
I was here and you went away.
I didn't see you die, I didn't see your casket.
Don't remember if I cried, but I never quite got past it.
You're fragile like a bee, and skinny as a steeple,
And all these memories - are they mine or other peoples?
When you died
Like we're all gonna go someday,
I was five and I thought I could make you stay.
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