Sara: My last boyfriend was a bit of a snob
Dan: But you should've known it from the sound of his job
He was a corporate bank investment ho
I don't know why you can't find Mr. Right
Sara: It's cause you find something wrong with every boy that I like
And now you've gone through every boy I know
Brad is so good-looking
Dan: But he'll never clean or do the cooking
Sara: Jimmy is so smart
Dan: But he's got a power Mac for a heart
Sara: The great boys all are gay
Dan: But where the fuck are they?
Both: Where the fuck are they?
Where the fuck are they?
Sara: Where have all the cowboys gone?
Dan: They're off sucking cock and they're making me yawn
Yeah, everyone's a media cliche
You know you girls have got it made
Sara: But with most of these guys, all you get is get laid
And I can't go out without my pepper spray
Mohammed is artistic
Dan: But he is rather narcissistic
Sara: Jonathan is funny
Dan: But the poor boy don't got any money
Sara: The great boys all are gay
Dan: But where the fuck are they?
Both: Where the fuck are they?
Where the fuck are they?
Sara: Christopher is dreamy
Dan: But he acts like a weenie
Sara: Jared is so hot
Dan: But he likes misogynistic hip hop
Sara: The great boys all are gay
Dan: But where the fuck are they?
Both: Where the fuck are they?
Where the fuck are they?
Sara: They're in LA
Dan: They're in New York
Sara: In San Francisco Bay
Dan: They listen to Bjork
Sara: They've got things to say
Dan: I'll turn into a stork
Sara: You'll fly away
Dan: I'll fly away
Both: Fly away