Conquistador of deepest laurels
I rest with flashlight on my head
The girls are giggling on the dancefloor, woo
Down the road a bit
Pieces of the world have arrived by mail in pieces
Other chunks have stayed away in chunks
I lay down smack in the middle, don't answer the door
And play my wifes guitar to Monk
Overheard at the barber
'Do whatever you want'
Oh, how could they ask me why I turned my light off
Oh, how could they ask me why I turned my light off
When I was young I was a baby
Now my baby sister lives with a man
I drive the five blocks to her and borrow butter every weekend
Scrape the snow off of my car with my hand
Overheard at the laundry
'Aw, my cat killed my dog'
Oh, how could they ask me why I turned my light off
Oh, how could they ask me why I turned my light off
Do you know how much I love you
Do you know how much I care
Let's go party at Loch Nessie's with Bigfoot and Jesus
Drinking beer, crisp scot air
No Bullshittin' I'll be there
The US army built this ghost town
Just east of where I grew up
They were worried that the Nazis might bomb Richmond
It's still empty, you can go there if you want
Overheard at a Goodwill
'He paints worse than my son'
Oh, how could they ask me why I turned my light off
Oh, how could they ask me why I turned my light off