You may be a cheap date
But my therapy's expensive as hell
Then you pay a psychic healer who lets you know
Things aren't really working out so well
Tomorrow's shining off our face
Yesterday's shadow is at our back, at our back
So why must you always dress in black?
People, they don't take advice, they only give it
And the only way you're ever gonna learn is to live it
So what you spent your younger years
Parlaying on the wrong side of the track
Why must you always dress in black?
If you have to lie, do it as quickly
And as thoroughly as you can
This morning I woke up slow feeling like the shell of a man
Don't blame me for us, you cried!
Oh, cut me some slack
And tell me why must you always dress in black?
She wore high heels, the ones that can pierce your heart
Just 'cause you go down in history
Doesn't mean you're really all that smart
Like Robert E. Lee, you're at your best when under attack
Why must you always dress in black?
You call in sick on Monday
Tuesday you show up late
Wednesday you left early
Thursday you fight with a boss you hate
Friday you up and quit
Saturday you want your old job back
Sunday morning you wake up all dressed in black
Why must you always dress in black?
[Thanks to Emily for these lyrics]