Wizard Of Sextown
There was an evil, evil, evil wizard that came on up to town
That wizard went and snatched them,
The hobbits right from their beds, oh yeah
Forcing them on a quest to the east to visit sex-village, oh yeah
The women there are eight feet tall
Arms of steel they can rip you in two, yeah, rip you in two
The wizard knew tiny hobbits had oversized hearts of steel
That could charm the pants off of any women
The union of the four foot man and the eight foot women
The wizard knew would somehow save the world
Somehow, somehow save the world from peril
The wizard knew if he was wrong at least it would be amusing
The banshee she cries across the hills (and up my spine)
The banshee is following me back home
It's the charm of the cease of your ingress
Oh yeah, she cries across the hills
I can feel her nails down my spine
Catching my skin under her fingers
Mutton for the beggars quarters for the thief (x4)
I fear not the punishment, not the punishment
I fear not the punish the punishment
Persuading discourse, they are blinded, by your majesty
They abuse your royal ear, they triumph in your woes
They're far from charity, assurance that the sun does shine (x2)
It's the four foot men of sex-town Being man-handled by an eight foot women
Brings us dark, dark times
He doth take her from the side, He doth take her from behind
He doth leave her from his mind, He doth leave her from his mind
I hear the creeping voice, It's gotten in my head
Head, head, head, head
The proud women of the east feel shame now
Even hobbits deserve sex, they just have to pay for it