Xmas Has Been X'ed
It's funny how some fables became historic
When the others clearly wrote them to be metaphoric
But people will believe anything if it's written
Especially in stone or ancient scroll
December 25th has been blacklisted
Since Dawkins found out proof Jesus never existed
It was the last thing anyone ever expected
Xmas has been X'ed
No colored lights
No shopping sprees
No more presents
Under dead trees
Saint Nick is dead (dead dead dead)
But we don't grieve
We celebrate
The last Christmas Eve
Jesuits are slowly turning Dianetic
Protestants increasingly become agnostic
Pentecostal churches are hanging pentagrams
Priest and nuns are molesting each other
Methodists and Baptist are claiming Buddhist
Evangelicals surprisingly are nudist
For mostly everyone is trying to become Jew
Cause Easter's cancelled too
No more egg hunts
No Sunday mass
Fridays are fair
Wednesdays don't ash
They cancelled Lent
And slowed down fast
Enjoy Christmas
Cause it's your last
No shopping sprees (don't worry son)
No more presents (we don't' need toys)
Under dead trees (we got it nice)
Saint Nick is dead (we've gone this far)
But we don't grieve (they won't cancel)
We celebrate (our Hanukkah)
The last Christmas Eve