We are free and fairly sober With so many toys to build The machines are kind of tricky Probably someone will be killed But we'd gladly work for nothing Which is good because we don't intend to pay The elves are back to work today
We have just a couple hours To make several billion gifts And the labour isn't easy Then you'll all work triple shifts You can make the job go quicker if you turn up the controls to super speed It's back to work on xmas eve
And though you're cold and sore and ugly Your pride will mask the pain Let my happy smile warm your hearts There's a toy lodged in my brain
We are getting awfully tired And we can't work any faster And we're very very sorry Why you selfish little bastards Do you want the kids to think that Santa's just a crummy empty handed jerk? Then shut your yaps and back to work
Now it's very nearly xmas And we've done the best we could These toy soldiers are poorly painted And they're made from inferior wood I should give you all a beating but I really have to fly If I weren't stuck here frozen I'd harpoon you in the eye Now it's back into our tenements to drown ourselves in rye You did the best you could I guess and some of these gorillas are ok The elves are resting xmas day