A man walks down the street
He says why am I soft in the middle now
Why am I soft in the middle now
All my life is so long
I need a photo-opportunity
I want a shot at redemption
Don't want to end up a cartoon
In a cartoon graveyard
Bonedigger bonedigger
Dogs in the moonlight
Far away my well-lit door
Mr. beerbelly beerbelly
Get these mutts away from me
You know I don't find this stuff amusing anymore
If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you betty
And betty when you call me
You can call me al
A man walks down the street
He says why am I short of attention
Got a short little span of attention
And all my nights are so long
Wheres my wife and family
What if I die here
Wholl be my role-model
Now that my role-model is
Gone gone
He jumped back down the alley
With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl
All along all along
There were incidents and accidents
There were thoughts and allegations
If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you betty
And betty when you call me
You can call me al
Call me al