You're Pretty When I'm Drunk
One night me and the crew hit the road on a mission
To slurp free brew and go fuzzy flounder fishin'
Kayjees on the hi-fi and the keg was bottomless
Until we brought skip o' pot2mus
And daddy's gonna get some probably underage and dumb
And everybody knows that the daddy eats his young
Lupus in the lavatory making a big stink
Macing up the toilet seat and pooping in the sink
M.S.G.'s tanked up and wizzin' in a cup
Waiting for a sprinkle genie to come and drink it up
'Cause I'm the one bottle willy with the twelve horse ale
After that I get silly like soupy sales
Now it's midnight and I'm completely boofy blitzed
A six of Schlitz and the Jew brew Manischewitz
With my beer-tinted glasses I'm ready to bitty battle
I'm hungry like the wolf but I'll end up tending cattle
'Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
(And I'm pretty fuckin' drunk)
Here she comes, a funky fried cutie
Mr. Jimmy Pop Ali is gonna get some booty
'Cause I'm Mr. Mcfeelie with a speedy delivery
You'd think I was a ditch the way this chick was diggin' me
But maybe I should check and see if this is where I want to be
Hey lupus is she cut, yeah for a pygmie
Aw, what do you know, you're probably going home alone
And it wouldn't be the first time that I gave a dog a bone
Plus beauty, it's only skin deep
It's in the eye of the beholder and my beholder's about to tweak
I could tap that barrel, in fact I know I can
It's a ménage í trois you and me and Heineken
'Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
Regrets I've had a few
First and foremost I'd like to mention you
For the sake of conversation we'll call you the brand new heavy
Your a mix between an Ugnaut and Eugene Levy
You can call it big-boned, I prefer to call it gut
Your Buddha your Shamu your Jabba the fuckin' Hutt
You had harpoon scars and your boobies were hairy
I smelt tuna melt but I wasn't gonna worry
It was three a.m. and I wasn't gettin' squat
So I rolled you up in flour and aimed it for the wet spot
I was buttering rolls like a soup kitchen Christian
Then it hit me something bit me while my little rod was fishin'
I was deep sea fishing I took a fat chance
But how was I supposed to know that jabberjaws
Lived in your pants
At that junction I came to realize
That only Frank Purdue likes thighs that size
Fatty fatty boom ba latty I gotta lament
That you were not a girl you were an experiment
'Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
And I'm pretty fucking drunk