36th Chamber of U.P.Y.Ou.R.S. (U.P.Y.Ou.R.S. theme, w/ Salim from NESS only)
Salim:Bruce Campbell could totally take on Samuel L. Jackson.
Joshua: Yeah, but he can't win.
Steven: Don't be so sure.
Salim: Well, we know one man can't mess with those two.
Everyone except Gabriel: Chuck "The Fuck" Norris.
Gabriel: MAHHHH!!!!
Eduardo: What was that?
[Chorus:]
Welcome to the 36th Chamber of U.P.Y.Ou.R.S.
Don't try to barricade; We'll break down the fuckin' door
Promise you won't be bored
Going to battle shore to shore
You better hope they miss
When in a fighting pit with them
One hit and you'll be dead.
SALIM!!!!
Who's the first man to punch a zombie in the face
Leave the undead in disgrace
Press against the gauge
The barrier of fire
Desire
For power times three
The world's protector from evil indeed
He's got the galactic insight
The fight inside
Of your mind
Defying the schizophrenia designed
Perhaps if you had a choice to be made
You would understand why the madman
Must stay this way
But, it's true
This is the man who'll save you
Has no clue
Of the flaw
Defies the law
Of Nature
Immature
So true
Thank you
[Chorus]
Flock of seagulls in the house
with a center stage
Motherfuckers see him, they best behave
Obey
This kid got no tolerance for you
Whoever steps up to him gets sent back to the zoo
Beat the clan
With a BAM!
WHAM!
All that crap
In a Kung-Fu stance
That bitch'll wave the white flag
What makes you quit, fag?
It's the truth of the moment
Is a two-bit cad
Then return to your seat
Gets a HOO-AH! from his peeps
But that's only when he's not counting sheep
Fuck this shit
Let's make the beaner switch
When Eduardo's sour
He's got the power
To make the opponent cower
A "haha" too intense
That motherfuckers shit their pants
See the art of war
He shows what's in store
Your ancestors weep
"˜Cause his moves are a graceful sweep
A fight move so beautiful
It can't be real
What's the deal?
Already admitting defeat?
You ain't been beat!
Get up
Step up
Now sit the fuck back down!!!
You made the mistake of stepping into the town!!!
HIYAH!!!!
[Chorus]
Motherfuckers wanna try
Motherfuckers gonna die
'Cause Josh has come to get a slice of the pie
He's eyeing that shit
Pimp-smack that bitch
Watch your neck
SNIKT!!!!
He finished the job, he did
Tony Montana would be proud
Knock you out in the first round
Go down
Stay down
Pick you up
POW!!!
How'd this failure happen?
It ain't no mystery
Straight from Area 51, He breaks thee
To piece the puzzle
Shut your punkass mouth
Or we'll shove a muzzle
Never too much
Always to little for him
J-O-S-H
Being this badass is sin
(I'm a Wampa)
What's that coming by?
(I'm a wampa)
Who's that looking so high?
(I'm a wampa)
Better shut your eyes!!!!
(I'm a wampa)
Oh shit, It's Gabriel, man, HIDE!!!!
Potato
Tomato
Zapata
Top from the batta
He was ignored
But no more
The comic relief
When the pain comes
You best bring your A-Game, son
Even if, Gabe's already won!!!
The power of Oranges
Helps decide how he farts in your face
Run back to home base...
It's too late
You took the bait
Like Tom and Jerry back in 1938
And like WHAMMY!!!!
Gabriel Zapata just won a Grammy.
And I'd like to thank George Lucas
Bruce Campbell
Mr. T
Sensei Messersmith
The Backstreet Boys
And my mome and dad for this award!!!!
Made it!!!!!!!
MEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't
This is the Union of People
Try
You Oughtta Respect, Son
To
This is the Union of People
Defy
You Oughtta Respect, Son
[Repeat]
This is the final showdown
Countdown
The seconds before total meltdown
Fight fire with fire
The flames rub
Even at sub-zero temperature
Generations will pronounce this as the number one league
You best walk away
Live one more day
Before it's taken by me
[Chorus x3]
Joshua: Is there any reason why we started rapping in the middle of a conversation about Bruce Campbell vs. Samuel L. Jackson?
Eduardo: Silly Josh, of course not!
Gabriel: Well, how about if we add Kurt Russell to the fight.
Salim: Don't you think The Phantom of the Opera is the gayest supervillain ever?
Gabriel: "OHHHHHHHH I AM THE GAYEST SUPERVILLAIN--"
Eduardo: Stop it, Gabriel.
Steven: How about Mr. T vs. Kurt Russell vs. Samuel L. Jackson vs. Sonic the Hedgehog?