A Lonely Jew On Christmas

It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas

My Friends won't let me join in any games

And I can't sing Christmas songs

Or decorate a Christmas tree

Or leave water out for Rudolph

'Cos there's something wrong with me

My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity

I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew on Christmas

Hanukkah is nice but why is it

That Santa passes over my house every year?

And instead of eating ham

I have to eat kosher latkes

Instead of 'Silent Night'

I'm singing 'Hu Hagtol Gavish'

And what the fuck is up

With lighting all these fucking candles, tell me please?

I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew, I can't be merry

'Cos I'm Hebrew on Christmas

Hey, little boy, I can't help but hear

You're feeling left out of Christmas cheer

But I've come to see that you shouldn't be sad

'Cos this is the one month that you shoud be glad

Because it's nice to be a Jew on Christmas

You don't have to deal with the season at all

You don't have to be on your best behaviour or give to charity

You don't have to go to grandma's house with your alcoholic family

And I don't have to sit on some fake Santa's lap

And have him breathe his stinky breath on me

That's right, you're a Jew, a stylin' Jew

It's a good time to be Hebrew on Christmas