An All American National Sport
I unpacked my troubles
From an old Safeways bag
Underneath Cardboard City lights
These two characters bought me supper
And they gave me some fags
And I settled down for the night
And I dreamt I was drunk
On a tropical ocean
Sailing home to the missus in Kilburn
And there on my bunk
Were all her letters of devotion
With some drawings and kisses
From the children
And I dreamt I was an artist
Like Toulouse-Lautrec or Manet
Drinking like a bastard in Madrid
Instead of underneath the arches
With Flanagan and Allen
Not a million miles from Chelsea Bridge
And then I woke up from my dreams
The neighbors heard the screams
And all the stray dogs
Were barking at the smell
Those two scumbags had come back
With some matches and some petrol
Set fire to my bed and left me burning in hell!