Don't want to be a Canadian idiot
Dont want to be some beer swillin' hockey nut
And do I look like some frostbitten hosehead?
I never learned my alphabet from A to Zed
They all live on donuts and moose meat
And they leave the house without packin' heat
Never even bring their guns to the mall
And you know what else is too funny
Their stupid monopoly money
Can't take them seriously at all
Well maple syrup and snow's what they export
They treat curling just like it's a real sport
They think their silly accent is so cute
Can't understand a thing they're talking aboot
Sure they got their national health care
Cheaper meds, low crime rates and clean air
Then again well they got Celine Dion
Eat their weight in Kraft macaroni
And dream of driving a Zamboni
All over Saskatchewan
Don't want to be a Canadian idiot
Won't figure out the temperature in Celsius
See the map they're hovering right over us
Tell you the truth it makes me kinda nervous
Always hear the same kind of story
Break their nose and they'll just say sorry
Tell me what kind of freaks are that polite?
It's gotta mean they're all up to something
So quick before they see it coming
Time for a preemptive strike