I did cocaine with David Blaine
He made my blow disappear, mayne
We pulled the train off Ms. Love Hewitt
She knows what I did last summer, stupid
Took her to eat and she was scared of the beef
So I had to fuck Jessica Simpson
In the kitchen, while she was fixing some chicken
And her little sister Ashley
Was waiting in the pantry,
Hurry up with the Teriyaki
Then I did Demi in the pooper
With a semi, she thought I was Kutcher (man)
Dude I heard a rumor. (What's that?)
Alyssa Milano is good for a nooner
At Jennifer Aniston, took it in the ass at the Hotel Radison
Her Dad thought it was the Pitt's
'Cause when he walked in,
I got a photo, of Fred Durst's dick
For real, I stole it from his bitch
Some think that I'm phony homie
I play with my penis like Adrien Brody.
I'll be sniffin' ruffies with George Clooney
L.A. is like Groundhog Day
Same old sh*t never fucking rains
Never thought I'd Turn out this way
Drew first blood on Kirsten Dunst.
And what about the Olsens?
Where the fuck Hillary Duff?
I'm a make her smoke dust and choke nuts
I'll Moulin Douche Nicole Kidman
Head spinnin' from the Vodka
Courtney Cox sucked my cock in a Mazda.
In the parking lot, bombin' on Tom Cruise
We were shootin' Speed in his agent's Regel
I'm harming my rectum (HMM)
Pardon my French, Carmen Electra
Is gonna be doin' coke before his balls be droppin.
I've been partying with Charlie Sheen.
Why don't you put them lips on my Roman Cannoli
I heard the coochie, smells like Bleu Cheese.
Gimme a call, Sigourney Weaver.
L.A. is like Groundhog Day
Same old shit never fucking rains
Never thought I'd Turn out this way