In My Mind
Amanda Palmer
In my mind, in a future five years from now
I'm a hundred and twenty pounds and I never get hung over
Because I will be the picture of discipline
Never minding what state I'm in and I will be someone I admire
And it's funny how I imagined that I would be that person now
But it does not seem to have happened
Maybe I've just forgotten how to see
That I'm not exactly the person that I thought I'd be
And in my mind, in the far away here and now
I've become in control somehow and I never lose my wallet
Because I will be the picture of discipline
Never fucking up anything and I'll be a good defensive driver
And it's funny how I imagined that I would be that person now
But it does not seem to have happened
Maybe I've just forgotten how to see
That I'll never be the person that I thought I'd be
And in my mind when I'm old I am beautiful
Planting tulips and vegetables which I will mindfully watch over
Not like me now, I'm so busy with everything
That I don't look at anything but I'm sure I'll look when I am older
And it's funny how I imagined that I could be that person now
That that's not what I want but that's what I wanted
That I'd be giving up somehow how strange to see
That I don't want to be the person that I want to be
And in my mind, I imagine so many things
Things that aren't really happening
And when they put me in the ground
I'll start pounding the lid saying, "I haven't finished yet"
I still have a tattoo to get, it says, "I'm living in the moment"
And it's funny how I imagined
That I could win this win less fight
Maybe it isn't all that funny
That I've been fighting all my life
But maybe I have to think it's funny
If I want to live before I die and maybe it's funniest of all
To think I'll die before I actually see
That I am exactly the person that I want to be
Fuck yes
I am exactly the person that I want to be
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