Jerry:
You're out of work, your pride is missin'
They call you jerk but you don't listen
You haven't got a pot to piss in
But you're a ... man
Your hands are rough, your back is hairy
Your talk is tough, your smell is scary
Here's what you're not - you're not a fairy
No you're a beer-drinking, real live man
And when the beef comes out you do the carvin'
You hate Tom Cruise but you love Lee Marvin
You're a man and that's a bonus
'Cause when you're swinging your cojones
You'll show 'em what testosterone is
'Cause you're a boot-wearin', beer-drinking
Chevy-driving man
(spoken)
Don't do it to be the most talked-about man in Buffalo. Don't do it for all the money you're gonna rake in. Don't even do it so your best friend can keep seeing his son, whom he loves more than life. Oh no - do it for yourself, Davie-boy. Show yourself the stuff you're made of. Don't show me.
Dave:
You get these plans. They always fail
You've been divorced. You've been to jail
You may be bold. You may be male
But you're a bum bum ba-dum...BUM
You got your dreams, you got your wishes
And I don't want to sound malicious
But you're a nut, and I got dishes -
I'm going home
See ya.
Jerry: (spoken)
You walk away now, but you'll be back. You know you're always there for me.
Dave: (spoken)
Not this time, Fabio. Jerry the Stripper...
Jerry: (spoken)
Surf's up, laides. Here comes Lukowski - the big kahuna - riding your pipeline. I'm hanging ten.
Stand back, ladies. It's quarterback Jerry, throwing a long ball right into your end zone. Touchdown! Wanna go for two?
Bases loaded. It's Bad Boy Jerry, swinging a big, a big ol' bat. B-b-banging one right at you, baby. BooYaa!
(sung)
I'm gonna jump straight up
Kick a hole in the moon
Don't know exactly where I'm going
But I know I'm gonna get there soon
I'll show you, I'll show them all
I'll show them all the real thing
What is a man? Why does he bother?
'Cause he's a man. 'Cause he's a father
He wants his kid, he wants his life
He wants to...
He wants to be
A man
A real man
Yes I am
I'm gonna be
I've gotta be
A real man with a mission
Like you see on television
I'm a real fine gen-u-ine
Man!