Medical Love Song [Alternate Take][*][Demo Version]
Monty Python Inflammation of the foreskin
I've had ballanital chancroids
That lovely night in June
I ache for you my darling
And I hope you get well soon.
My penile warts, your herpes
How I miss you more and more
You dobie's itch, my scrumpox
At least we both were lying
When we said that we were clear
Sealed the secret of our tryst
You gave me scrotal pustules
With a quick flickof your wrist
Sent shivers down my spine
I got snail tracks in my anus
When your spirochetes met mine.
Gonococcal urethritis, streptococcal ballinitis,
Meningo myelitis, diplococcal cephalitis,
Epididimitis, interstitial keratitis,
Syphalitic choroiditis, and anterior you-ve-I-tis.
As the complete and utter failure
Are the worst he's ever seen
My scrotum's painted orange
And my balls are turning green.
Though my parts are awful raw
You might have been infected
But you never were a bore
I'm dying of your love my love
I'm your spirochaetal clown
I've left my body to science
But I'm afraid they've turned it down.
Gonococcal urethritis, streptococcal ballinitis,
Meningo myelitis, diplococcal cephalitis,
Epididimitis, interstitial keratitis,