The Ferret Song

I've got a ferret sticking up my nose

(He's got a ferret sticking up his nose)

How it got there I can't tell

But now it's there it hurts like hell

And what's more it radically affects my sense of smell

I've got a ferret sticking up my nose

(It pokes its head out every time he blows)

I can stand it for a while

Although it's absolutely vile

It's not as bad as last week when I had a crocodile

I can see a bare-bottomed mandrill

(Slyly eyeing his other nostril)

I really won't know what to do

But if he jumps inside there too

I shall be a proud possessor of a kind of nasal zoo

(A nasal zoo)

I've got a ferret sticking up my nose

(It starts singing when he wears his formal clothes)

I can almost stand the noise

But at parties it destroysMy hard-earned and carefully cultivated social poise

I've got a ferret sticking up my nose

(Worst of all it constantly explodes)

Ferrets don't explode you say

But it happened nine times yesterday

And I should know for each time I was standing in the way

I've got a ferret sticking up my nose

(He's got a ferret sticking up his nose)

How it got there I can't tell

But now it's there it hurts like hell

And what's more it radically affects my sense of smell

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