I met a girl called Ian
She was a European
I guess I wasn't seein' too straight
I left my friends behind me
I knew that they would find me
I'm great
Ya ya ya
I met a girl called Phyllis
She talked like Dobie Gillis
And Willis Reed was her favorite Knick
I told her she was gorgeous
Heard all about the Bourges
I'm sick
Ya ya ya
I never thought I was the king of my men
I never wanted eleven because I always got ten
If I tell someone do it over then they do it again
I never ever come on silly or odd
I never liked the competition so I don't worship God
I'm never stupid or mistaken or a jerk or a clod
Oh yeah
I met a girl called Rifle
She changed her name to Trifle
Her life all bright and now with a "T"
We lay out in the garden
I tried to beg her pardon
I'm free
Ya ya ya
I never ever come on silly or odd
I never liked the competition so I don't worship God
I'm never stupid or mistaken or a jerk or a clod
I never laugh at you or sing mere "o"s
I know you said nobody's perfect but I figure I'm close
Somebody said I was a trifle verbose
Yeah I don't care
I can do anything I want to
Anytime I want to
Anywhere I want to