Owen's a man with a modest degree and a job that hardly pays
But he visits the bank teller everyday
It's there that he knows he can find or at least pretend in his mind
That the woman behind the window loves him so
When she say
"What can I do you for, Mr. Kissus?"
Oh, wouldn't you like to know
"Would you like to make a deposit?"
That shouldn't be hard
Since he'll come before he goes
Although she's never belonged to him, he feels that she has been stolen
But he's not entitled even if she was a loan
To buy her love would cost a lot, she wants more than he's got
But he knows her interest rate is pretty low
Just a peek is all he needs, a bit of skin and he'll be pleased
Since she's never shown voluntarily
A little leg and cleavage too and lick your lips, yeah, that'll do
He'll never need a dirty magazine again
When she says
"What can I do you for, Mr. Kissus?"
Oh, wouldn't you like to know
"Would you like to make a deposit?"
That shouldn't be hard
Since he'll come before he goes
Well, now it's hard to believe that he's all alone, after all he's as cute as a little gnome
But maybe that's not so grand
I guess I feel sorry for him 'cause his chances of getting some are slim
But I guess that's all part of Darwin's plan
But beneath the fabric and twisted yarn, she's got urges primal and carnal
Perhaps he could help her out, but she's a hotty and he's notty,
so that I doubt"¦cause he's
Mr. Kissus, he's Mr. Kissus
As much as he wishes he was owin' kisses
Mr. Kissus, he's missing her kisses
As much as he wishes he was Owen Kissus to her
He's Mr. Kissus forever
He's owin' something he can't get