I am the chosen one
No need to hold a gun
I take you there like a double decker bus does
I am a Gryffindor, stand up to Voldemort
I break it up like it was Horcruxes
Loved by the kitchen staff, I'm why the Weasleys' laugh
Know my way around, in fact I memorized Marauder's Map
If you have to ask what it's like, and how longs it last
It's kinda sorta felt like wearing a flaming Sorting Hat
Name is Neville, I'm a rebel, don't worry about detention
Did I fail to mention that my specialties suspension?
As in getting lifted, I'm a hippie, come to Hogwarts hookups
I'm the kid you look up when you feel like getting shook up
I got Cockroach Clusters, I got them Chocolate Frogs
I get every flavor made by that babe Bertie Botts
I got what you want, I got what you need
I got those wizzy beats so fizzy, you say wizard please
I'm summoned with a spell, cuz pagers are prohibited
You can go to hell if you think my time's unlimited
I'll meet you by the willow kid, if you prefer the forest
Just bring that Goblin gold and don't wake Mrs. Norris (What!)
I am the chosen one
No need to hold a gun
I take you there like a double decker bus does
I am a Gryffindor, stand up to Voldemort
I break it up like it was Horcruxes
They say that I am lacking, and I ain't up to snuff
Snape's always on my case cuz he secretly sucks
It's hard remembering stuff, I think my brain has been wiped
Like I might've seen some shit that will scar you for life
So they think that I'm a fuck up and it's brilliantly clever
So many things I can't remember, like where's my toad Trevor?
Can I ask for the password, I fear I have forgotten?
Call me Neville Longbottom, I leave every bong rotten
Love treacle, Buckbeak, elf eye to Ireland
Meet me at the one eyed witch or Room of Requirement
Step back, catch a cactus blast of my stinksap
Chill, Dumbledore is down, in fact he likes a fat sack
If you wanna break from the stress and the studies
Holler at your buddy and I'll make you feel funny
I'm the pudgy Pureblood packin' unicorn power
Up in the highest tower where I fire up my flowers
I am the chosen one
No need to hold a gun
I take you there like a double decker bus does
I am a Gryffindor, stand up to Voldemort
I break it up like it was Horcruxes