Out Into the Snow
Simon Joyner
I've been living in a room where the rafters shook
Where the trains pass through the moonlight
Dusts rain down, cover my books
Even the bricks crumble to the floor in a landslide
Remember the caller from a pay phone somewhere
In the heart, broken, drunk
Muffled voices and shattered glasses
Toasted all the heads that were not yet hung
Yours was getting low
So I stepped out into the snow
Cut through the car wash across the street
Where a man cleaned the salt from his tires
Passed through the grocery store parking lot
Where open hands bummed nickels for fires
They sang "have you anything to keep a belly warm"
On the coldest night of the year
I gave my change to a bucket of steam
Said he had to get the hell out of here
Before he froze
And I stepped out into the snow
Found you flickering by lightbulbs
Your new shadows swayed in the concrete
Said baby it's true
You get cold so you look for heat
Everywhere I've been is empty and thin
And swallowed by the bay
Standing too low
And I stepped out into the snow
Verse from the Bible, memorized in childhood
Fell from your tongue to the car keys
Asked me if it mattered, everything had a pattern
You can't stand far enough back to see it
I helped you to bed, then I washed my face
Covered my hands over your kitchen sink
Then I cracked the window and let some pressure escape
Just in time to hear a siren scream
You'd better go
And I stepped into the snow
Shed my clothes and killed the lights
And laid in my bed staring at the rooftop
This is as quiet as the city gets
Shooting neon all over our cracked windshields
I don't remember what happened next
I'm afraid it took me by surprise
The night rolled in, it felt dark and then
I guess I closed my eyes
Just that note
And I stepped out into the snow
Dreamed I was a school of fish
I dreamed I was a mother nursing a child
Dreamed I was the long black train
Rattling through the countryside
Dreamed I was reborn in a tornado closet
In the mason jar's cobweb
Took some time to find my way out of the basement
The climb was slow
And I stepped back out into the snow
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