I really hate it that my family's poor! I really wish I was a rich kid 'Cause they always get all the pimped gifts for Did I get a new Xbox? Fat chance! While Billy gets a new pony and a lap dance Plus a tree house mansion and a jet ski How the hell did he get a pterodactyl?
I thought Christmas was awesome, on and poppin 'Til Jane got a slave and Google stock options And I don't think you understand How it feels to see another kid roll up in his Bentley "Look at my new ride; Santa just bought it." He didn't get you nothing 'Cause your mom's an alcoholic.
He's right I got some underwear used by my brother I'm like Oliver Twist, "Please may I have another?" I opened up a present, and found an eviction notice! We're spending Christmas with the homeless!
Santa must hate the poor kids. 'Cause Santa only hangs with the rich (Come on) And if you ain't got money then he ain't coming Nothing under your tree tonight!
And all I got was a charm bracelet with no charms And a discharged G. I. Joe with no arms And mom got some cigarettes and half a case of beer We're too poor for Christmas music And our Christmas tree is just a busted umbrella with a Bunch of junk glued to it And Ravi said Santa also hates you if you're Jewish.
Santa must hate the poor kids. 'Cause Santa only hangs with the rich (sing it!) And if you ain't got money then he ain't coming Nothing under your tree tonight!
F-ck you Santa! You fat motherf-cker! You been drinking butter? Always acting jolly, I ain't buying into that And why you always trying to get kids to sit on your I heard you touch Scottish boys under the kilt Stop eating my cookies and milk! Or I'm going to go to the North Pole and enroll you in And next year I'm leaving diet pills and Slim Fast You see me while I'm sleeping And while you watching me Why you got to take your p*nis out?
I'm not afraid to fight, b-tch! I'll whup you a** and take a sh-t on your nice list! I want to take you out in the worst way If you're a saint? Why'd you steal Jesus' birthday? So keep your dumb gifts Santa, we don't need you! And tell the Tooth Fairy, she's a cheap b-tch too!
Santa Hates Poor Kids (Come on) And if you ain't got money then he ain't coming Nothing under your tree tonight!
"And God bless us everyone." "Shut the hell up Tiny Tim! You're not helping." More from Your Favorite Martian