[Lars]
Dropped my little sister off at San Jose State
Freshman hoties on the floor and they all look great
18 with brains and booties to match
I want to scratch that ass like Grandmaster Flash
You were in Gimboree my freshman year
Mr. T was on TV and now you're hear
Not creepy anymore when it feels like heaven
You know the hottest girls were born in 1987
[HardNox]
1987 was the year, now they're freshman hotties drinking cheap-ass beer
Fake IDs? They don't matter to me, you've got some tig ol' bitties and some nice white teeth
Study with me, I won't open a book, I'm a SparkNote tip, you might call me a crook
I take all the hot and attractive courses
I'm Shvensen Fitzlogik sing my chorus!
[Chorus]
Shvensen Fitzlogik, wasted in college
25 year old in a freshman dorm (25 year old in a freshman dorm)
Shvensen Fitzlogik, wasted in college
25 year old in a freshman dorm (25 year old in a freshman dorm)
[HardNox]
Hey mom, please send me more money, it's my eigth year in college digging freshman honeys
Here try this, it will make you feel good, you can wake up staring at the morning wood
Then I'll walk down the hall, holding on the wall,
Leave a little puke in the bathroom stall
On the girl's floor, I'll do it all again, it's a new year I should ask you again
[Lars]
How old are you? Don't tell me yet
Wait let me guess, I'll make a bet
You've got a thing for older guys and I know it's true
Johnny Freshman can't do these things to you
These girls like good with their cute pink shorts
on the floor next to their book reports
You're no Margery Kempe, so shut your yap,
it's MC Lars and HardNox with the statutory rap
[Chorus]
Shvensen Fitzlogik, wasted in college
25 year old in a freshman dorm (25 year old in a freshman dorm)
Shvensen Fitzlogik, wasted in college
25 year old in a freshman dorm (25 year old in a freshman dorm)
[HardNox]
What's your name? My name's Shvensen
Try a little German baby, see what you're missin'
'Cause I'm so paid from my distray
In the freshman dorm party scene trying to get laid
Come in my upper room I've got some Coconut and Malibu
Sit on the couch - want a drink? I do!
Give me three, give me six, give me nine,
Add them all up and it's one good time
[Chorus]
Shvensen Fitzlogik, wasted in college
25 year old in a freshman dorm (25 year old in a freshman dorm)
Shvensen Fitzlogik, wasted in college
25 year old in a freshman dorm (25 year old in a freshman dorm)