The Blood Song
I remember the last time I donated blood.
The nurse put a bandage on my arm and told me not to remove it for six hours.
The time was five o'clock, and
At about ten to six,
I was having an early dinner with some friends
In a pretty nice restaurant.
I was embarrassed enough that I had short sleeves on;
The bandage made me look downright silly.
So I removed it slowly,
Surreptitiously,
So no one would see.
Suddenly,
A thin but powerful stream of blood started gushing out of my arm.
It hit a man sitting directly opposite from me,
Splashing off of his head and onto the floor.
A waiter,
Delivering a bowl of chicken noodle soup to a nearby table,
Slipped.
The bowl went flying and landed on my head.
I was completely covered with noodles and I disappeared.
Well, I learned my lesson that day.
And the next time I give blood,
I'll wear long sleeves
And I'll leave the bandage on.