The Mechanical Girl
Aurelio Voltaire
In the court of Augustine the Twelveth
The King reprimanded his men, and demanded
they put to good use all his wealth
to cure his deep ennui.
For you see, he found that he was sad and lonely ever since
his wife, the Queen, got mad and rode off on his steed.
In the glen beyond the castle wall
there was a tinker and he was a thinker,
the smartest man in all the world.
He made a mechanical girl.
For you see, his daughter passed away that summer, and though he
knew he could not replace her, he missed his family.
Suddenly, a knock at the door went "Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta,"
and the kingsmen came in blowing horns, "Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba."
"By order of His Highness we're to take you and that... thing
to present your marvel to the King."
And so, over glen and through the castle walls,
over the moat and into the great castle hall,
when her master urged, the robot girl emerged.
When the King laid eyes upon the girl,
he was delighted. His men all were knighted.
He yelled out loud for all the world,
"I'll take her for my queen!"
And the man screamed "Please don't take my child, I beg you, mighty king!"
And they grabbed him by his tailcoat and threw him in the moat.
Later, in their wedding bed, the King was shocked to see
a tender kiss upon the cheek unleashed an armory.
Rocketlaunchers and flamethrowing guns grew from her side,
and she grew to seven times her size.
RUN!
On the morn of August twenty-fourth
he was dejected, when lest he expected
a knock was heard upon the door;
it was his robot girl.
For you see, he'd made her indestructible, it seems, and she
destroyed that awful kingdom
and they lived happily.
So you see, the moral of the story is:
Never take a child away from a loving parent.
Especially not ones who make children who shoot rockets from their eyes.
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