They Ain't Makin' Jews LiKe Jesus Anymore
(Kinky Friedman)
Well, a redneck nerd in a bowling shirt was a-guzzlinâ"š¬â"ž¢ Lone Star beer
Talking religion and-uh politics for all the world to hear.
â"š¬í…"They oughta send you back to Russia, boy, or New York City one
You just want to doodle a Christian girl and you killed Godâ"š¬â"ž¢s only son.â"š¬?
I said, â"š¬í…"Has it occurred to you, you nerd, that thatâ"š¬â"ž¢s not very nice,
We Jews believe it was Santa Claus that killed Jesus Christ.â"š¬?
â"š¬í…"You know, you donâ"š¬â"ž¢t look Jewish,â"š¬? he said, â"š¬í…"near as I could figger
I had you lamped for a slightly anemic, well-dressed country nigger.â"š¬í…"
No, they ainâ"š¬â"ž¢t makinâ"š¬â"ž¢ Jews like Jesus anymore,
They donâ"š¬â"ž¢t turn the other cheek the way they done before.
He started in to shoutinâ"š¬â"ž¢ and a-spittinâ"š¬â"ž¢ on the floor,
â"š¬í…"Lord, they ainâ"š¬â"ž¢t makinâ"š¬â"ž¢ Jews like Jesus anymore.â"š¬?
He says, â"š¬í…"I ainâ"š¬â"ž¢t a racist but Aristitle Onassis is one Greek we donâ"š¬â"ž¢t need
And them niggers, Jews and Sigma Nus, all they ever do is breed.
And wops â"š¬í‹Å“ micks â"š¬í‹Å“ slopes â"š¬í‹Å“ spics â"š¬í‹Å“ spooks are on my list
And thereâ"š¬â"ž¢s one little hebe from the heart of Texas â"š¬" is there anyone I missed ? â"š¬?
Well, I hits him with everything I had right square between the eyes.
I says, â"š¬í…"Iâ"š¬â"ž¢m gonna gitcha, you son of a bitch ya, for spoutinâ"š¬â"ž¢ that pack of lies.
If thereâ"š¬â"ž¢s one thing I canâ"š¬â"ž¢t abide, itâ"š¬â"ž¢s an ethnocentric racist;
Now you take back that thing you said â"š¬í‹Å“bout Aristitle Onassis.â"š¬?
No, they ainâ"š¬â"ž¢t makinâ"š¬â"ž¢ Jews like Jesus anymore,
We donâ"š¬â"ž¢t turn the other cheek the way we done before.
You could hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor
â"š¬í…"Lord, they shoâ"š¬â"ž¢ ainâ"š¬â"ž¢t makinâ"š¬â"ž¢ Jews like Jesus anymore!â"š¬?
All right!
No, they ainâ"š¬â"ž¢t makinâ"š¬â"ž¢ Jews like Jesus anymore,
We donâ"š¬â"ž¢t turn the other cheek the way they done before.
You hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor
Lord, they ainâ"š¬â"ž¢t makinâ"š¬â"ž¢ Jews like Jesus anymore.
Everybody!
They ainâ"š¬â"ž¢t makinâ"š¬â"ž¢ Jews like Jesus anymore,
They ainâ"š¬â"ž¢t makinâ"š¬â"ž¢ carpenters who know what nails are for.
Well, the whole damn place was singinâ"š¬â"ž¢ as I strolled right out the door
â"š¬í…"Lord, they ainâ"š¬â"ž¢t makinâ"š¬â"ž¢ Jews like Jesus anymore!â"š¬?
No, we ainâ"š¬â"ž¢t makinâ"š¬â"ž¢ Jews like Jesus anymore,
We donâ"š¬â"ž¢t turn the other cheek the way they done before.
Well, the whole damn place was singinâ"š¬â"ž¢ as I strolled right out the door
â"š¬í…"Lord, they ainâ"š¬â"ž¢t makinâ"š¬â"ž¢ Jews like Jesus anymore!â"š¬?