Where Are All The Old Man Bars?

I woke up and had a drink

Had another and it made me think

It seems to me that there used to be

A lot more friendly little bars in this town

A place where they knew you

And you knew them

Where drinks were cheap

And men were men

You don't have to go home but you can't stay here

Its 2 AM and you're drunk full of beer

We love you but you have to go

So what I want to know is where are all the old man bars?

Every night there'd be a fight

And then we'd drink until we couldn't talk

But talk is cheap and so am I

I'm happy when the shots all cost a buck

You don't have to go home but you can't stay here

Its 2 AM and you're drunk full of beer

We love you but you have to go

So what I want to know is where are all the old man bars?

The breakfast of champs

The hair of the dog

The slap of the chimp

The splash of the log

Now the bars are all so cool

Full of yuppies with tattoos and pierced tools

A round of drinks will leave you broke

You even have to go outside to have a smoke

The pool table's a planter

The jukebox sucks

There ain't no pinball

The doorman's a jock

You don't have to go home but you can't stay here

Its 2 AM and you're drunk full of beer

We love you but you have to go

So what I want to know is where are all the old man bars?