I don't think... I think I repress a lot of stuff
Like, not just my anxiety and stuff
But my anger and things... Like...
I- I'm really non-confrontational
So I tend not to tell people when I'm feeling cross
With them and whatever, and I think surely... I suffer
Because I don't wanna... Hurt other peoples feelings or
Something.
I went and saw a psychologist recently and talked to
Him about this, and he agreed that I need to find a way
To express myself more... You know, when I feel angry
With people.
So what he said I should do was write my feelings down.
That way... Expressing myself without confrontation.
So I've done that, I've written some of my feelings
Down in a poem. I think it might help if I could do it
For you guys.
The poem is called Angry... Or, or or... In brackets
Feet...
Bit nervous...
Sometimes... Sometimes I get a bit angry,
But you couldn't tell.
No you couldn't tell,
Unless you looked real closely.
Sometimes I get a big angry.
But it's alright,
Yes it's alright,
Because I keep it out of sight.
Inside,
Deep inside.
I breast-fed until I was 9.
Which my... Quack... Doctor, says is fine.
And he also thinks I'd deal with anger better
If I wrote about myself in a poem or a letter.
My mother was a... Real f*****g b***h... Caring lady.
She taught me all I know.
Although I was a little slow,
She never gave up,
She never let me... Slap... Down.
Although she spent a lot of time
At the neighbours house when my dad was out of town.
I didn't walk 'til I was 7,
Or talk 'til I was 10.
But neither did Napolean,
According to my... Quack f*****g... Doctor.
Who has certificates in frames
To substantiate his... Dodgy f*****g... Claims.
My father left my mother,
For the love of a... Poontang... Nother.
And I have a... B*****d... Brother
Who I've never really known.
Because m'dad moved out to colac
And he doesn't have a... Bullshit you fat c***... Telephone.
In primary school I had trouble making... Ashtrays...
Friends.
An issue which has become somewhat of a trend.
The origin of which I cannot pretend
Has not perplexed me.
Although my... Quack, f*****g... Doctor says it's cool
And that loads of... Fat freaks... F**k you!... Kids at
School
Have problems with communication.
And that a course of medication
Would be wise,
And combined with more honest self-expression,
Could help me with my issues with emotional repression.
And at 90 bucks a session,
I think I'll take the... Thieving, quack, b*****d...
Lovely chaps advice.
So I quite like... P***... Photography.
And books on... Guns... History.
And I'd like to be a... Politician... Vet.
And I feel as I get older,
I'm more in control of my violent tendencies
And when I die... Kill... Die
I'll have no regrets
And I feel that all this writing is really... Poofy...
Exciting,
And my... Quack, doc, quack, f*****g... Doctor would be
Proud.
Because I feel a lot less angry,
And I'm saying stuff out loud,
And I'm letting anger out.
Like today in our last session;
When I taught the... Quack... C*** a lesson.
'Cuz he said I'm not progessing,
Said I wasn't moving forward.
So I said, "well let's see how you move without your
F*****g legs. "
And I tied him to his chair,
And I pulled out my machete.
And I listened to him beg,
And then I cut his f*****g feet off.
And while he lay there bleeding,
I used his feet...
To kick him in the head.