So let me tell you how this all came to be
I'm doing this here rap for your safety
So all you kids don't mess up like me
And be disowned by your family
So check it, this is how it all began
I was chillin', eating some raisin bran
I decided it was time to get a tan
So I grabbed my scissors and then I ran
I forgot my house was two stories tall
I missed the first step and began to fall
What happened next, I could not recall
I was impaled by the scissors and thats not all
I thought I could get some help on the street
I got run over by a fucking jeep
The rest of this mess I will not repeat
To help keep your lunch, I've been discrete
He's the boxman
I woke up in a strange location
Some dirty bum had an explination
Apparently he had no education
He turned my body into an abomination
He said he found me on the road nearly dead
It was necessary he fix my torso and my head
He had no human parts so he used a box instead
The news was so overwhelming that I fled
He's the boxman
It's hard to live with a body of cardboard
You'd think with this cute smile I'd be adored
But since the accident I've always been ignored
I trust one day that my hope will be restored
I'd like to meet a girl who likes me for me
But of course no girl likes a guy made of tree
I got so desperate that I cry and I plea
I'd even take a fat girl to a tolerable degree
I guess it ain't that bad to be a box like me
Hey, at least I ain't Mary-Kate or Ashley
If I ever want to travel across the sea
I disguise myself as a package and fly for free
Well the moral of the story is airfare's expensive as hell
So that's the end of my tale, so long and farewell
He's the boxman