Joan was quizzical, studied pataphysical science in the home
Late nights all alone with a test tube
Oh, oh oh oh
Maxwell Edison, majoring in medicine, calls her on the phone
"Can I take you out to the pictures, Joa-oa-oa-oan?"
But as she's getting ready to go
A knock comes on the door
Bang, bang
Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon her head
Clang, clang
Maxwell's silver hammer made sure that she was dead
Back in school again, Maxwell plays the fool again
Teacher gets annoyed
Wishing to avoid an unpleasant sce-e-e-ene
She tells Max to stay when the class has gone away
So he waits behind
Writing fifty times, "I must not be so-o-o-o..."
But when she turns her back on the boy
He creeps up from behind
Bang, bang
Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon her head
Clang, clang
Maxwell's silver hammer made sure that she was dead
P.C. 31 says, "We got a dirty one"
Maxwell stands alone
Painting testimonial pictures
Oh, oh oh oh
Rose and Valerie, screaming from the gallery, say, "He must go free!"
The judge does not agree, and he tells them so
But as the words are leaving his lips
A noise comes form behind
Bang, bang
Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon his head
Clang, clang
Maxwell's silver hammer made sure
That he was dead