My new walk is a busy-shouldered walk
With cocky bow-legged steps
The sway of my hips
Is all chicken and chips
And loveless, unprotected sex
It's the confident swagger
Of a teenager with a dagger
And no concept of Next
My new walk is a soft-shoe shuffle
From the kitchen to the lounge
From the lounge into the street
My slippered feet
Are barely off the ground
It's the walk of a zombie
A dead man shopping
In his ex-wife's dressing gown
My new walk comes with a flashbulb warning
It's the walk of a disgraced politician
My head is held high
But it's just another lie
For the newspapers and the television
I walk under guard
In the exercise yard
Of a maximum-security prison
My new walk is the march of a soldier
Along the high street of applauding market town
When you think you can hear
Someone follow you home at night in the dark
It's my new walk that makes that sound
If you're coulrophobic
My new walk knows it
And it's wearing the shoes of a clown
Follow in my footsteps and see where they take you
Drama, adventure and all sorts await you
My new walk is a high-kicking goosestep
Parading past the throne of a big-headed king
It's the stagger of a glass-jawed heavyweight fighter
Around the canvas of a blood-spattered ring
From the lounge into the kitchen
I walk like an Egyptian
In the last days of the Arab Spring
My new walk is the camouflage zigzag of a high-school kid
With a grudge and a video tape
It's a walk of defiance, a walk of compliance
A walk of love and a walk of hate
My new walk tiptoes through your house
And steals your wedding ring and the keys to your car
My voice is like honey
My face is the money
But it's my new walk that's the star